So in honor of Valentine’s Day this year, the team at Responsible Sports together with the experts at Positive Coaching Alliance ask: what can we do as Responsible Coaches and Responsible Sport Parents to help our kids stay in love with sports?
This month, in honor of Valentine’s Day, we asked the experts at Positive Coaching Alliance to help us develop a quick checklist for Responsible Coaches and Responsible Sports Parents on how to help kids stay in love with sports. As it turns out, the steps are pretty easy. But the challenge becomes implementing all of these suggestions, and implementing them consistently across the thousands of youth sports programs around the country. (We’ve included lots of links to videos and podcasts to help you see first hand how these techniques and tips work – click through!)
1. Have kids play many sports. For lots of reasons! It helps avoid burnout in their favorite sport. (Ken Martel from USA Hockey makes a great analogy: even if your kids like pizza, you don’t let them eat it every night for dinner.) Playing multiple sports helps them develop other muscles and other skills. It helps them see sports from the role of leader and follower. (Listen to Doug Wilson talk about being the best player on his youth hockey team, and the not-so-great player on his youth baseball team – and how that taught him to be a better teammate in hockey!) And last but not least, trying many sports helps kids find the right fit. And what fits today might be different a year from now.
2. Focus on learning, not winning. The experts at Positive Coaching Alliance are consistently reminding us that the top athletes don’t set out to win, but rather set out to accomplish their personal goals, oftentimes focused on skill mastery. Jennie Finch went out to the circle not to win, but to retire the side and strike out every hitter each inning with whatever pitch she felt was working or what the umpire was calling. In fact, over the course of her career, Jennie Finch focused on pitch acquisition: fastball, curve ball, drop ball, rise ball, screw ball and even a change up. It’s because she focused on acquiring the skills that the wins followed.
3. Create individual goals. Work with each and every individual player to set goals for themselves. Set both short- and long-term goals, and make sure your athletes understand what they’ll need to do to reach those goals. Review progress on those goals throughout the season. Applaud both effort and improvement.
4. Provide positive criticism. Leverage the tools developed by Positive Coaching Alliance, like the Criticism Sandwich, Asking First,If/Then Statements and the 5-to-1 Magic Ratio to deliver feedback and criticism in a way that kids can both hear and understand, while helping to keep their Emotional Tanks full. No one – adults included – want to continue with something if they constantly hear only about what they do wrong. Or if they hear only what the error is but no real help on how to improve.
5. Keep Everyone Involved. There is a role for every player in youth sports. Break down practice into skills drills and small skills competitions. Break up big teams into two smaller teams. Keep the bench involved! Assign injured players the role of keeping Non-Traditional Statistics from the sideline. Each time a player has a turn on the bench, have him be responsible for Positive Charting. It only makes sense: the more kids sit and watch, the more likely they are to fall out of love with sports – and hence quit.
6. Leverage the Power of Team. Everyone likes to be part of a group. As coaches and parents, we need to remember to use the power of the team to keep kids motivated and inspired. Use techniques like Winners Circles and Buddy System. Ask some of your players to serve as ELM Leaders. Create a Signature Statement for your team and encourage each athlete to be mindful of that mission.
7. Respect The Game. Teach respect for the game. And practice the same from the sidelines and the stands. Respecting officials and opponents can sometimes be the hardest part. Ask one of the girls to play the first base umpire at practice. Or ask one of the boys to suit up as the referee during basketball practice. The drill will help them realize how tough it is to be an umpire. And during a game if you see your athletes complain about a call, bring them in and refocus them on what they can control: themselves and their honorable behavior. (Watch this soccer coach tackle the issue of Honoring Officials after a bad call on the field). These tips and drills are great for athletes – and an important reminder to parents about our role in the stands.
8. Let them play. Last but not least, let kids just play. Olympic softball outfielder Jessica Mendoza talks about just playing and having fun with her friends. World Cup soccer star Julie Foudy talks about how her parents let her decide when to play or not play – even for big tournaments. Kim Oden -- an Olympic volleyball player,now coachinges -- talks about letting the girls giggle and have fun before practice, and then using an Opening Ritual to acknowledge both the school day and then the task at hand for practice. Our job as Responsible Coaches and Responsible Sport Parents is to help kids see the value of youth sports, both on and off the field. But to help them see and learn these lessons, we need to try to help them stay involved and loving their chosen sports. For many of us, the reason we coach sports and encourage our kids to participate in sports is because we had great experiences that taught us to love sports. Let’s pass along the love!
This article was brought to you by:
